Felisa Rogers
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Distance

3/22/2020

10 Comments

 
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The Centro Historico of Mexico City is an ancient neighborhood (as you might divine from the name) with listing canyons of Colonial edifices, streets of lumpy flagstone, and markets as teaming and surprising as coral reefs. It's my favorite urban district in the world. I've been exploring it for decades, and I know its secrets and mysteries could keep me engaged till the end of my days.

In addition to Buildings of Historical Note (of which there are a ridiculous quantity), there are scores of museums, both famous and obscure. But for your average resident, it's primarily a shopping district. You can buy everything from Italian shoes to cheap luggage to baby jesuses.

Thousands of people live here, maybe tens of thousands, but it's not considered a residential area and it tends to empty out at night and on Sundays. We keep thinking that it might empty out on weekdays too, if people start taking this seriously en masse. We imagined that we'd be able to take walks, at least. But that hasn't happened yet.

Yesterday we went out to get fresh vegetables and fruit and Vitamin D pills (and soda water, of course!). After four full days indoors, I was feeling woozy and sluggish. I almost thought I was sick, but I took my temperature, which was fine, and decided it was either my usual borderline hypochondria or my body was reacting to being deprived of natural light for 100 hours.

I expected that going outside would be exciting. I expected my senses to be heightened, like when I watched the sun set. I expected to marvel at the colors, the light, the bizarre details that have always made this area so fascinating. Instead, I just felt anxiety so intense it made me nauseated.

Here's the thing... Personal space is not really a thing in Mexico. You throw down a beach towel and the next group of people is going to set up right next to you, not as far away as possible, like they would in the US. And this can be a great thing about this country. It can also be annoying if you're not in the mood for a boombox blasting banda in your face while someone insists that you drink a warm Modelo and eat ceviche while their children crawl all over you, but, as someone with shy and antisocial tendencies, it's usually great for me to spent time around people who are more in-your-face, who want to know about you, strangers who say good morning, women who kiss your cheeks. Social distancing is the antithesis of Mexico.

Which makes this trickier...

I tend toward claustrophobia in crowds, and stepping out onto the sidewalk felt like a bad idea. We thought the street looked slightly less crowded than usual, but it was still choked with vendors, and it was impossible to stay six feet away from other people, especially since very few other pedestrians seemed to be trying.

I felt like I was in a very difficult video game. Your objective is to stay as far away from people as possible, but coughing people keep popping up right in your path.

Passing my favorite taqueria was pretty harsh, and then going into the market made me feel like I was walking into a warren of pestilence. I started to feel like I couldn't breathe, and my heart was racing.

So....not a great first foray into the great outdoors. After we returned to the sanctuary of the apartment, I felt like never going out again. Which scared me. Because staying inside hasn't been so bad. In fact, it's seemed a little too easy at times. For the first time in my life, I don't have to feel guilty for staying in and watching TV on a Friday night. I don't have to feel guilty for not taking a walk. I don't have to feel guilty for hiding away from the world.

So this morning we made ourselves get up early enough to take a run.

The neighborhood really is virtually empty on Sunday mornings, so it was much less freaky. We ran over to the Alameda, where the jacaranda trees are in bloom. On the way back, we sat in a little square and watched people walking their dogs. And, for a second, life almost seemed normal. I felt that I was in the Centro Historico, a place I dearly love, instead of in some surreal limbo.

What are your experiences with  leaving your house or apartment? How does it make you feel? Any thoughts on the long-term effects of social distancing, being holed up, etc.?







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10 Comments
Howard Fallon link
3/22/2020 11:04:46 am

I'm reminded of my bourgeois privilege more every day. I have a beautiful sunny garden blooming with food. Chard in many colors, fava beans sprouting up, Chiddam Blanc de Mars wheat growing tall & swaying in the breeze. I sit in my garden & my plants say 'You poisoned your world' & I know it's true. The bats starting the contagion where driven from the natural habitat by civilization's ruthless exploitation of our environment. We are raining this pestilence down on ourselves. And yet I sit comfortably in my garden pondering H.G. Wells admonition "Civilization is a race between education & catastrophe. Let us learn the truth and spread it as far and wide as our circumstances allow. For the truth is the greatest weapon we have.”

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Tina
3/22/2020 03:57:52 pm

This makes me extremely anxious. Is there any time of day with the least sidewalk traffic that you can shop?

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Lisa
3/23/2020 08:58:13 am

i really am grateful to be reading about your experience & offer up any words of comfort or information I come across. It’s scary here and as a state that I’d in between two very hard hit ones I feel we are already heavily infected with people that would be testing positive had they had enough tests for everyone that wants one. I try to stay off the TV & get my news from less dramatic visual soures since I’m already prone to high anxiety. One thing I’ve noticed is those of us that seem to grapple with high anxiety on a regular basis seem less anxious right now then the average person paying attention. Just a strange phenomenon I wanted to mention. Maybe it’s all the practice we anxious ones have. I find myself surprised and briefly relieved if I go a couple hours without thinking about what hell seems to Breaking loose around us. Lots of rumors and partial truths swirl about these past few weeks. I vassilate between being prepared and wanting to desperately stock up on supplies to not so worried about it because I spent almost my entire months income on food and supplies after reading the guidelines from the cdc to be prepared to shelter in place for three months. Oh well at least next month I won’t need to worry about toilet paper I scored myself some baby wipes. Toliet paper was already. Sold out. Check out this app called next door and join in a neighborhood it’s amazing how many people are helping others out by running errands for a elderly person or anyone for that matter. There’s lots of support on there as well and information about the latest virus news .

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Churpa
3/23/2020 09:11:40 am

Wow, that is an incredibly interesting point regarding anxiety! Definitely one of the most interesting observations I've heard yet. I would say that I typically have fairly high levels of anxiety, or at least fairly high anxiety about certain things. (It's not nearly as bad as what some people suffer.) And I would agree that I actually feel less anxious right now. Like everything is really up in the air, but I feel strangely calm about it. Instead I just get anxious when strangers get within six feet of me! Thank you so much for your insights and hang in there. Sending love your way.

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Rachel Mercer
3/23/2020 12:14:40 pm

Considering, i'm really freaking lucky. Even if we got full lockdown (like can't leave property) - i have 3 acres to hang out in. And I'd be surprised if that level of lockdown reached rural areas. Every day I've been taking my dogs on a 2 mile walk along the canal that runs past my house. I plan on doing that until i'm told to stop (or, you know, get sick and die - har har har [probalby not funny])

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Churpa
3/23/2020 04:27:55 pm

Haha. Yeah, really glad so many of my friends are still able to get outside and lead relatively normal lives, especially since so many people are so stressed about money and the future. I feel like we all need at least one saving grace. For me it's that I can continue working. For now, anyway.

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La Lechera
3/23/2020 12:47:17 pm

It's been nearly a week since any of us have left the property. Our last supply run was exhausting. I'm anxious about people in Eugene under normal circumstances, but last Tues had an undercurrent of panic to the psychic atmosphere that I associate with hurricane evacuation prep. At least there were no lines at the gas pump.
The gloves/Chlorox wipes protocol we were following added an additional level of stress and paranoia.
I'm noticing that I love being quarantined and not talking to people or going out. It's very relaxing. Yesterday I took a nap in the sun on my lounge couch. I have plenty of time to do what I need to do now that I'm not working for or hanging out with anyone else.
Creepily, this is precisely what I wished for when I was at Tenacatita...

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Churpa
3/23/2020 04:29:21 pm

Poodles and I have been enjoying the downtime as well, though I wonder what we will be saying in a week...
Glad you are getting some much needed break from stress and drama! Thanks for commenting. It's neat to hear the positive sides to this.

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80
3/23/2020 07:42:56 pm

Went to silver falls yesterday. Probably not a good idea - there were so many people! Some of them tried to be respectful as we passed on the path, but others had no concept of distancing. I was thinking about other countries and cultures that have no concept of personal space, and how much harder it must be to social distance.

On the other hand, it was such a goddamn beautiful spring day in Oregon, I couldn’t NOT go out. Also, the last nice day this week. I would post a photo, but I don’t know how.

I was just thinking about you because I read an article about flights getting canceled. Are you still scheduled to fly on April 5th? Have they made any adjustments to your itinerary?

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Churpa
3/24/2020 07:38:29 am

Glad you got out! It's so weird when people don't make an effort...I notice that I'm not as friendly as I normally am. Like normally I make eye contact, smile, say hello, probably more than you average American. But these days I have started to see other pedestrians as the enemy. It's kinda fucked up.
I miss Oregon in the springtime! And you guys! I still have a ticket for April 5, and haven't heard anything about cancellation. But everything is changing so quickly that it's possible Delta will shut down flights. I saw a picture of the airport in Puerto Vallarta after the government issued the call home: wall-to-wall gringos trying to get out. I was glad I hadn't tried to change my ticket to get out early. It wouldn't be as bad here because there aren't as many Americans, but still...
I'm also confused as to what I'm going to do if I get back to Oregon.

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